Low peaks

One of the downsides of being old and getting senile is that any kind of stress has a very strange effect. Although Mama seemed mostly ok about Aunt Edith's death, her behavior since Thursday has been erratic to say the least. She was pretty freaked out on Thursday and couldn't manage to call me but did get mom and Debbie. She was convinced that either mom or I would be making arrangements and that "Papa would want to call people." Since papa has been dead for over 2 years and is now in a cookie jar on my dresser, that'd be rather difficult. Thursday night when I got home, she didn't talk about it much other than to say that it was sad and that she didn't even know Edith was sick. And she seemed fine.

Friday was pretty uneventful other than she didn't know who came to take care of her and a few times she told me that nobody had come.... or maybe it was Debbie, or maybe not. That's not unusual.

I got up early on Saturday morning to drive to a gymnastics meet so we didn't chat much, but as usual, she didn't know what day it was and asked if someone was coming to "take care of" her. Asking that has just become a habit because when I say "someone comes..." she always knows the answer is "...every day." Most of the rest of Saturday afternoon went ok except that she was supposed to have a shower and she managed to talk the nurse out of it yet again. However, later in the evening things turned wild. Seems that she fell asleep sometime after the nurse went home. When that happens she often has very vivid dreams and thinks that they are real. The same thing used to happen to Grandma Mackes. It's happened when I was there and she says really odd things like "Papa isn't home yet, is he?" or wonders where her kids are. This time she called mom and sent mom into a tizzy. Mama thought that she had gone out and when she came home the lights were all on and that I MUST be home so she was going to search the house. She also mentioned looking outside for me. She's not supposed to go upstairs since she's not that steady anymore and she is NOT supposed to go outside because she's locked herself out once already. She had mom completely freaked out because there was zero connection between the few remaining logic cells in her brain and the "I have to do something" cells. Mom finally convinced her to call me, which she did, and I got her calmed down.... mostly. Apparently she was annoyed that I had gone to a meet and she was supposed to go along and I'd NEVER go without taking her if I'd promised I'd take her. Yeah, well, there was no promise. Even though we talk about it, she can't go anywhere for that long. She thinks it'll be fun, but she just wants to go home soon after she leaves and won't use a public bathroom. So, one can just imagine how interesting THAT can be. Besides looking upstairs, she was going to have to look outside for me, and maybe plant some flowers sometime, and I must be there because the lights were on when she got home from being out... or maybe she wasn't out.... but I must be there somewhere.

When I got home she was still pretty wacky and when I said that she had gotten mom all in a dither, her answer was to "never call LeeAnn again." But, she didn't like that idea because she "never talks to LeeAnn." I asked how long it had been since she had talked to mom and her answer was "months." It was 2 weeks, if you don't count Thursday. I tried to have a fairly rational conversation with her, but that was pointless. She wasn't really REALLY bad, but there wasn't much logic going on in there. She had no idea if anybody had come to take care of her and no idea if she'd had a shower and thought that she had gone somewhere... but didn't know where. First she told me she had hot dogs for dinner, then told me she had nothing. By the time I went to bed, she seemed to be pretty with it and was not telling me incredibly wild things anymore.

Sunday morning was a treat. I woke up to her yelling up the stairs for mom.

"LEEANN! Are you awake?"

Uh, hello!??! mom's not here.

She was convinced that mom was there. I'm not sure why and she wasn't either. She said she must have dreamed it. Again, she had no idea what day it was, if someone was coming, when they were coming, was it Debbie? Was I coming home to sleep? Did I have to go to Philadelphia? The rest of Sunday was ok, no phone calls from panicky mom or mama wondering where Papa was. When I got home Sunday I asked if she'd had her shower (which she'd PROMISED she'd have) and she said "no" she was going to have it tomorrow. That's what she does. She convinces the nurses that she'll have one "tomorrow" well tomorrow never comes! ARG! As SOON as I said that she was supposed to have it "TODAY!!!!!" she changed her story. I checked the bathroom and there were wet towels, so she did. But, jeez, can't even remember that. She made up all kinds of odd stories about taking a shower by herself and that all she needed was someone to turn on the water so she didn't burn herself. Because you know it's hard to turn on the water in the shower.

Once I'd calmed down about the shower and the lady who may or may not have been there and may or may not have been someone who may or may not have been there before and who may or may not have fed her, she was better.

For some reason I had a really hard time falling asleep last night. I'd doze off, then wake up 20 minutes later. I finally just turned on the TV and watched some of Planet Earth, which is outstanding. I guess I fell asleep around 4 and was woken up at 7AM!!!! by the TV turned to ear-splitting levels. I just pulled a pillow over my head and went back to sleep. Just before 8 I hear...

"TONY!"

"what?" mumbled into the pillow.

"TONY! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"in BED!!!!" screamed into the pillow.

Then I hear footsteps in the hall. Um, wait, she's not supposed to be upstairs. She's not steady enough, she KNOWS she's not supposed to come up the stairs....

So, I ask "what are you doing up here?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"at 8am?"

"You are missing all the excitement."

"huh?" mumbled into the pillow.

"It's snowing."

Ok, it's NOT snowing, it's raining and sleeting mixed with a LITTLE snow. By the time I rolled over and looked out, it was just rain fer godsake.

"oh, how many thousand times do I have to tell you not to go up and down the stairs?"

"oh, I know, I'm going now."

I got to doze back to sleep til my normal 8:30 wakeup and when I went downstairs I asked why in the world she came up and WOKE ME UP TO TELL ME IT WAS SNOWING WHEN IT WASN"T REALLY?!?!?

No answer.

Then she asked if we were having breakfast together. Uh, no, I have to go to work. "Isn't it Saturday?" No, it's MONDAY! I HAVE TO GO TO WORK DAY!

and then, then, then, then, she asked why I seemed so annoyed.

I rolled my eyes, told her that she woke me up with the EXCESSIVELY LOUD TV SHOW WITH REGIS AND BECKYLEEKELLYWHATEVERTHEFUCKHERNAMEIS and then woke me up AGAIN by coming upstairs when she KNOWS she's not supposed to.

It just don't get any better.

And then I went to work where it's mostly sane and quiet.